reflections
Listening to the plans of my girlfriends(Ria & Georgia) when/if they go to Manila, I said to myself "I want to go too...". Perhaps a part of me want to go with them, to enjoy their company.hehehe... Another part of me wants to get out of this city and go to Manila and experience what's it like living there. I could make a part of my dream come true, see Bagiuo and enjoy it's beauty. Being the eldest of 3 children comes with the unspoken responsibility of looking out for your younger siblings. That's Filipino upbringing. I'm not complaining (not much hehehe) but I still want to spread my wings on my own without the added worry of my brother and sister. Perhaps it's time for me and for them to test our independence. =)
Deciding on that matter took me months before I could make up my mind. On/off I would sway from transferring to another company in cebu or in manila. I have an application to Japan that up until the present hasn't materialize yet. It's so frustrating that my plans doesn't work out the way I want them to be. So I said to myself during one of my comtemplative days, it's either I go or stay. I chose to go! Brought about this decision comes peace that I seek. I have a goal and to achieve that goal I must make a step toward that goal. Currently, I'm at war of myself. Some bad decisions that I made sprouts from my own laziness, uncertainties, all these negative energies that I pamper myself to. But I'm done with that. I've started to be more reliant on my decision-making. All day this week, I woke up around 6:10-6:20am, have a shower and get out of the house around 7-7:10am. I didn't get in late even once. It felt good to be in control of yourself. hehehe... =)
It's not a bad thing at all to think for once of what I can do to myself before I think of what it can do to my family. I know that they'll always support me 100% on what I decide to do. They may not like it all the time but they will support me. In lieu of that conclusion, I'm pretty optimistic that I'll make it wherever I am. Perhaps it's a start to my dream to work abroad. I may not be passionate of my work but once in a while I do enjoy working especially when I'm doing something productive. Maybe I could meet Mr. Right in Manila. hehehe =) But that's another blog to reflect on. hahaha... I'll stick it out in this industry until such time that I've accomplished my goal, to be a successful and fulfilled Engineer!!!
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